the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
