No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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