I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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