I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
