He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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