is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
