We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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