I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
