I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
