A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
