Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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