No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
