dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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