There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
