You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Four minutes until I can fart!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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