I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
