i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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