Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
