its not stalking. its research.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
