"it" just moved
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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