we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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