i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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