You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
