Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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