FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
