shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
