school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
