omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
