i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
