So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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