Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
