after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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