My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
