It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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