oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
