Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
