First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
