Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was not drunk enough for that final.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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