fuck your aforementioned shoe
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
did i walk over a car last night?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
