Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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