Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
