You can't motorboat a personality
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
