All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
