Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
