So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
