You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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