Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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