I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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