Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
