how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
