dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
